My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
