happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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