Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
