U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
