We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize