we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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