I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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