just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
