Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
