think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
