But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
