I hate your face
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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