what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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