i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
