you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
