How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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