his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
