He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
