i wish starbucks made bloody marys
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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