Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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