Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
