I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize