you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Be still, my beating vagina.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
