Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I have surprise drugs for everyone
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
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