Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
