i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
