I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize