I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
