She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
