I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Watching her eat just hurts me
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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