i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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