no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
She tied me up with her honor cords...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
