Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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