Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Randomize
