the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
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