I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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