i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
