You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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