How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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