what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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