I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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