you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
