I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize