I CAN MOONWALK!
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I will be naked everywhere
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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