i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
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