Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
