Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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