She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Randomize
