check it out our google latitudes are spooning
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
