I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize