Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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