Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize