Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
