lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
