Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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