I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
