Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
