yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
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