yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
