That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
