Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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