I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
