either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo