I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.