then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'