dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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