so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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