i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
