make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
