i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
