Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I enjoy the company of your penis
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