so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
