he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
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